Another post I wrote yesterday, with some photos of Frankfurt, Germany and Warsaw, Poland.
We arrived in Frankfurt just before sunrise. It felt so good to walk around a bit in the airport and stretch our swollen feet. I bought some German treats for the kids, some chocolate, crackers and gummy bears for Leah.
Now we are on a smaller plane heading for Moscow. It is so strange to think that we will be there for so long without getting to see our boy. Usually we get to see him the very next morning after we arrive, but because of the hearing Tuesday, I doubt we will get to see him.
On the long flight over I had lots of time to think about this whole situation. As I listened to the music we have used on videos we have made of our first two trips, it was bittersweet. We never would have guessed back then that such an obstacle as this would appear. I became almost panicked just thinking about the possibility of coming home without him. We have seen so many miracles throughout this process, there has been no doubt in our minds that this was all meant to be. But this is the biggest obstacle yet, and it is easy to let fear creep in.
When I am feeling scared I think about all the cute clothes I packed for Gabe in our suitcase. I imagine him playing with the toys I brought just for him. I think of what this week will be like in the hotel together. How will he act? How will he respond to being out of the orphanage he has known his whole life? I have read many other adoption blogs and know women personally who say that their adopted child became a whole new person once outside the confines of the orphanage walls. Children who were once wild and seemed like they would exhaust their parents instead became calm and clingy. Some seemed to relax and lean into the trust of their parents arms. Others seemed to retreat into themselves, obviously afraid of such freedom. There are so many unknowns with international adoption. Yes, the parent training we have had has prepared us for seemingly all possibilities, but I'm sure it will be so different when it is all actually in front of me. I just pray that I will have the guidance of the Spirit to be the best mother I can be for Gabriel. I hope I can offer just what he needs: comfort when he desires it, and space when he needs it. Not too much, not too little. It is high time this boy know what it's like to have someone there, through thick and thin. Someone who doesn't just praise him for being good or following directions, but for just being HIM. Oh I can't wait to BE his mother, not just in law and word, but in deed.
We just flew over Warsaw, Poland. Again, I am feeling so blessed to be able to see even snippets of these places I never dreamed I would be able to see. Germany was beautiful to fly in to. The lights of the homes were in clusters and seemed sporadic at first. When the sun rose we realized that was because they are surrounded with forests. It is beautiful. I wish we had time to leave the airport and visit some of the history of this place. Whenever I think of Germany, I think of World War II. How interesting it would be to see the historical places for myself! Maybe one day!